I do not typically blog about person items, but I just have to say cancer...just plain sucks.
My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal bladder cancer back in April, they told us at the time she would have 6 months to a year if we are lucky. Well I guess our luck is running out. This past week she has been progressively getting worse. She is in so much pain now, it is just not fair. Its not fair to her first of all, she is a kind, amazing mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, wife and so on, its not fair to my mom to have to do this alone (her sister passed away a few years back), my children; they love Mema, and to me. I am not ready to let her go...I am just not. I love her so much! However deep down I know she is in pain so I must find a way to be strong so she can feel ok with letting go. Its not about me or us, its about her. Making her comfortable, making her feel ok with leaving us...I also know deep down she is scared, which I would be too...all we can do is tell her we love her and thank her for 79 amazing years of life.
These past four days she has not been out of bed, has not ate or drank anything, they do have her morphine and some other pain pill so she isn't really with us, so to say. She hasn't even spoken in days, a few things here or there to my mom. Yesterday I was sitting with her sobbing like a small child holding her hand and she sat right up in bed, I instantly responded with "Are you in pain? Do you need something" and she puckered up...she wanted a kiss. So I obliged-and I said I love you. She said it back. That is one special moment in time I will never forget. The next days to weeks are going to be bumpy ride...with the use of A LOT of tissues.
I just had to share my personal opinion of cancer...yep it sucks! (I guess that's my favorite word right now). So may I please remind you to take every day as a special gift and hug your loved ones today.
Love you Mema!